Twin insights from a twin blog pioneer Cheryl Lage
Cheryl Lage is a true pioneer when it comes to sharing twin life insights online. She was among the first to create a twin support forum back in 2004. The forum later morphed into her current blog Twinfatuation.com. Cheryl has also written not just one, but two (!) books on twins. With all these great accomplishments, Cheryl and work has become the go-to source for twin parents all over the world. All while raising her own twins!
We are excited that Cheryl agreed to share some of her twin insights with us. In this interview you will learn more about Cheryl's work, what amazes her about twins and what she thinks all twin moms should know about the twin bond. Enjoy!
Who are you and what do you do?
Sounds like a confessional, but my name is Cheryl Lage, and I am a joyful twin mom. Prior to becoming a parent of twins in 2001, I worked in TV/Video post-production---which I have returned to part-time, now that our twins are older.
“What I do” changed dramatically with the birth of our twosome, who also happened to be our first children.
I began writing/sharing about the experience---which ultimately led to the publication of Twinspiration: Real-Life Advice from Pregnancy through the First Year (c. 2006, Taylor Trade Publications) and then the second edition, Twinspiration: Real-Life Advice from Pregnancy through the First Year and Beyond (c. 2016, Taylor Trade Publications).
In tandem with the books’ writings, and the twins’ raisings, our family fully immersed in the twins/multiples parenting community; first by founding one of the very first support sites dedicated to twin-parenting, Twinsights.com in 2004, which later transitioned into our blog, Twinfatuation.com, in 2007...and is still going strong! We regularly contribute articles, excerpts, and fielded Q&As to a wide array of parenting resources.
How did you get started?
When we discovered we were expecting, and that there would be TWO babies, I immediately sought out books on twin pregnancy and parenting. Few books were “out there,” and the ones that were on the shelves were panic-inducing x 2! Truly, I never thought of myself as a writer (my husband once said I am more of a talker who self-transcribes).
Seeing the vacuum, I began keeping detailed, candid notes on the experience. Once the twins began sleeping through the night, I researched how to create a non-fiction book proposal to procure an agent, and after persistent queries, landed the perfect one for this text. Within a few months---and timed-well with a proliferation of celebrity twin pregnancies---she sold the book to a publisher.
From then on, I’ve been very fortunate to remain an active part of the twin-parenting community---especially via social media.
What fascinates you the most about twins?
Identical or fraternal, I am always amazed by how different---and yet similar---each pair is.
What was the biggest fear you had going into twin motherhood?
Naively, it was about the double birthing process. The specter of having one twin exit via the traditional exit ramp and the other require a C-section had me fairly spooked.
On a more in-it-for-the-duration angle, I think most twin mamas fear the potential inability have the energy/strength to address each child’s needs fully---with immediacy.
What has surprised you the most about your twins?
Now that mine are sixteen, their personalities, talents, and interests are so very demonstrably and uniquely their own...and yet their connection/union seems more solidified than ever. It’s beautiful and gratifying to watch.
What is the number one myth about having twins you would like to debunk?
Hmmm....that’s a toughy.
I do think there is WAY too much assumption all twins speak their own language and/or display a mythic bond from birth. So many new twin moms have emailed/contacted me concerned their babies are somehow “defective” twins---or that as stretched-thinly moms, they’ve not mothered their two “correctly” when their twins don’t show signs of supernatural connection from the get-go.
From an infant development point-of-view, babies are entirely self-revolving for quite some time. My fondest hope is that new twin mamas would be more merciful with themselves.
A close-second myth I’d love to see dispelled is the belief that in every twin pair one is the “smart one” (implying the other isn’t), “good one” (meaning the other isn’t), or “your favorite” (as if you couldn’t have two)!
Is there any advice about having twins you wish you had been given?
LOVE that question! One of my favorite chapters in Twinspiration (both editions) is the one titled, “The Best Advice I Ever---and Never---Got.” The most succinct (yet valuable) piece I can share here is try to do your best to laugh at your mistakes, but remember to learn from them.
In addition to getting a copy of Twinspiration (shameless plug!), I’d encourage twin parents to get involved in twin parenting communities online and in-person. So much reassurance, experience, and wisdom is readily available. Please do use care to select your “groups” wisely---steering clear of judge-y and guilt-inducing environments. Seek out places and people that celebrate the joy of twin parenting---it makes all the difference. <3
Thank you, Cheryl! You are a true supermom! We love what you have contributed to twin parents and twins all over the world. It is inspiring that you saw a void in what was available for twin parents and wanted to find to solve that. Kudos to you!
We love getting to know twin parents and their journey, and this is our latest interview in our twin parent series (check out the others, including with the NYC real estate broker and twin dad Mike Davis here and twin dad Thomas Jezequel here).
Twinning Store was established by twin sisters K & E in Los Angeles in July 2017. We sell clothing for twins and twin parents, because twins rule!